My eyes were opened to the bustling happenings of small town life when I stopped at a Philips 66 to buy a Gatorade and a Snickers and to just sit in the air conditioning. While I was sitting in one of the booths, relaxing and staring out the window at the passing cars, a pair of locals came into the store to talk to the manager. "I heard on the scanner this morning that you had a little commotion here last night," said the shorter of the two locals that walked into the store.

"Don't even get me started," the manager scoffed. "Those damn kids aren't going to get any mercy if its up to me. Can you believe the nerve of them?"

"So when did it happen?" again asked the shorter guy.

"About 4:00 I got the call from John (the town sherriff). He told me to come on down to the store as soon as I could. When I got here, he had about 8 kids lined up outside. Somehow they broke in and decided to have a little party in the back of the store. Those little punks drank up about $400 worth of beer. There were cans all over the place. I just don't know what they were thinking hanging out here just drinkin' all my beer."

"Jeez, guess they was pretty drunk, huh?"

"Could hardly even stand up. I scared the piss out of them though. Told 'em they were going to jail for a long time. I played it up real good. The ones that were sober enough to know what was going on just about wet their pants."

"Ah, you're just jealous cause they didn't invite you first."

And with that, I became intrigued as to what really went on in small town Kansas so I bought the local paper to find out more. The following are excerpts from the pages of "The Hutchinson News," the local newspaper for central Kansas.

Article: "Comeback pays off for Hutchinson teen in dairy competition"

Excerpt one: "Scott Smith, 17, Hutchinson, was glad he decided to show his 5-year-old cow, Binky, after a three-year hiatus...'He (Smith) blended in real well with the cow and had good eye contact,' said Travis Larson, dairy show judge."

Excerpt two: "Eight years ago, several parents of 4-Hers decided to start a dairy club, said Sue Nisly, who shared superintendent duties with DeAnn Phillips...'We talk about records, make halters, and have a quiz bowl team. Anything dairy related," said Nisly."

Excerpt three: "Other events scheduled on the last day of the fair include the round-robin showmanship, pedal tractor pull, barnyard Olympics, and the awards ceremony."

Article: "Teen recovering from consuming large amount of alcohol"

Excerpt one: "A 15-year-old Hutchinson girl remains hospitalized in improving condition after consuming what police are calling a 'large' amount of alcohol."

Excerpt two: "She was hospitalized with a tested blood alcohol level of 0.525, well over the 0.02 statutory limit for under-age drinkers."

Excerpt three: "The girl apparently was dropped off at the hospital by a group of anonymous partygoers, who did not remain at the hospital."

Article: "Water Safety: Hutch lifeguards display their skills in competition"

Excerpt one: "Hot outside, isn't it? Go ahead. Take a dip. If you're swimming in Hutchinson, you're in good hands."

Excerpt two: "The Hutchinson Recreation Commission and the Hutchinson YMCA hire skilled young lifeguards who take their job seriously. That should make local swimmers feel better about their safety."

And my favorite...

Article: "Quick thinking saves house"